In Prelingeration
by MattWritesStuff
Summary: New Title... Edward wasnt strong enough to suck out the venom when James bit Bella, so she becomes a vampire. Almost. Jasper saves her from becoming one for one year, but what will happen? And will Bella be able to accept it once she is one of them?
1. Chapter 1 Brurning

_Bella's Point Of View_

Burning. Mindless, senseless, restless burning. This is what I felt. I was barely aware of the ballet studio around me, barely aware of Carlisle and Alice's screams and Edward's cries of horror. The only thing that occupied my mind was the pain, the trauma of James's bite.

"Edward, you have to!" Carlisle's faint voice called. I knew it was loud and clear and melodic in reality, but the ringing in my ears caused by the unimaginable pain droaned out the sound of the most beautiful voices in the world. A vampires voice truly was like song, like the most beautiful Debussy, and it pained me even more so that I wasn't able to hear it right now. Because I always believed that music could heal. This made me, inevitably, think of my lullaby, which was another one of those beautiful sounds. I longed to hear it, and remember it, but the burning took over.

"I can't. I'm not strong… I wont… stop…" Edward's voice. Truly the most uplifting thing I needed right now, and yet the most painful thing. I wanted to cry back to him. I wanted to give him something that would make him believe… whatever he needed to right now. My mouth wouldn't move the way I wanted it to, and no sound would escape my tongue other that the stuttering and choking sounds that must be what had Carlisle so worried.

A roar of fire inside me, and I knew something must be happening.

"Your too late, son."

What? He was too late? For what? What was happening? Why was the pain getting worse?

"We need to get her out of here."

Get out of here.

Was I dying? Did James drain me of too much blood?

It dawned on me about as soon as Edward cried out in despair, true despair, despair in a tragic, end of the world fashion. Heartbreakingly painful, and then he was joined by a high, melodic, feminine voice. Alice also let of a scream, I knew it had to be her.

And I knew I was becoming one of them.

I was aware of Edward heaving me up into his arms, and running with me. Jumping. I could feel that we were high up and falling rapidly, but I could not see, and the burning was too horrible.

We fell onto something soft, and a faint revving of an engine reached my ears. We must have landed in through one of the cars open windows. It seemed weird, something bizarre like from a cartoon. From fantasy. But this surely couldn't be real either. Because I certainly couldn't be turning into a vampire, because vampires surely couldn't exist. And yet, they did. And I would be one of them in three days.

But I knew barely anything about vampires. Edward was always so reluctant…

I was now drowned in blackness. A few faces flashed through my mind, and then it became black again. I screamed out in terror. Jacob, Charlie, Renee, Jessica, Mike, Angela. The people I could never face again after this. And now I zoned out and was very aware of the sounds around me, as well as the burning that was slowly spreading all around my body.

_Edward's Point Of View_

"Edward, you can save her! Even if it's just for a while!" Jasper said, shaking my shoulders. "You know the story. You know it's true. Edward, if you love her… this will be the best thing for her."

"The Volturi, Jasper." I growled. "It's banned. They'll be all over us!"

"Edward, just think… for her to be an unaware newborn… it would be disgusting, immoral to let her roam free. Like this she can redeem herself! I would do the same for Alice, like she would do for me, and I know Bella would do it for you if she were in your shoes."

"Don't you think it will hurt her more, Jasper? If she has to say _goodbye_?" I hissed.

"Don't you think it will hurt her friends more if she just disappears? It would mean so much more to her…"

And so I began to suck.

_Bella's Point Of View_

_What was happening? Edward couldn't suck. It was over. It wouldn't do any good. I was becoming a vampire._

_Oh! An electric current ran through my body, I quivered and then jumped. Then I was perfectly motionless._


	2. Chapter 2 Changes

Chapter Two

Changes

__

Bella's Point Of View

It took ten days for me to awaken properly. I was half conscious, I could hear everything around me, but I could see nor speak. Edward and Jasper were always arguing, Edward accusing him of using his power on him so that he would comply to doing… whatever he did. Jasper wanted to tell me what was happening, as he knew perfectly well I would understand, but Edward refused.

Now that I had awakened, I sat up and the first thing I noticed was the blinding brightness coming from the light. Immediately, Jasper flicked off the switch. I could still see, despite it being 3:30 in the morning. It was still normal brightness.

"Bella." he said quietly. "You need to know."

"I know." I replied. My voice was higher, clearer, more like Alice's.

"I know that you know." he smiled a crooked smile. "You could hear me talking while you were unconscious. You could hear Edward, Alice, Esme, Rosalie, Carlisle and Emmet talking - well, whispering - about what was going to happen." he took a deep breath. "I convinced Edward to perform something called 'prelingeration'. You may have heard, it's illegal. It's one of those crimes up there with creating an immortal child..."

"A what?"

"It's when you change a child into a vampire. Especially a young one. Edward might not have told you the whole story? Or did he at all? Nevertheless, the reason prelingeration is so horrible is because it's simply unnatural. Let me explain this in the nicest way possible... you are not a vampire. You are not a human, either. Basically, you are dead." Jasper hesitated. "In theory. You have a heartbeat, but it's a superficial one. No blood is being pumped around your body, but in lingers in it's current position for a whole year."

"What happens after the year?" I was immensely curious, yet the whole idea scared me and I dreaded the answer.

"After the year, you become a vampire. It's even more excruciating than a normal change though... it's because you must lose all of your blood and have your body replaced with venom. The venom builds up in an extra... pocket created in the lining of your small intestine. Towards the end of the year, the pocket grows bigger until it bursts. The venom spreads around the body, replacing the blood you lose. This takes up to four days. The venom burns everything inside you."

This was horrifying. What Jasper was describing was like something from a science fiction movie. Prelingeration was a truly scary idea to get used to. Why would Jasper want Edward to do this to me?

"Are there… advantages?" I bit my lip. "I mean…"

"… why would I force Edward to sentence you to this hell? I don't know. Maybe I just don't like you."

This statement generally shocked me. I knew Jasper had problems with me, and my scent, but I didn't think he had anything personal against me. "You don't?"

"Not particularly…that isn't the reason though, and even if it was, I wouldn't have done it. Alice loves you like a sister, and I love Alice. In wouldn't do something like this to her best friend just because… I don't like you." he raised his eyebrows. "Anyway, back to prelingeration. The advantages… there are a few… If a vampire falls in love with a human, it leaves them with three options if that human gets hurt by them or another immortal. They could kill you, which usually happens in the end. They could let you become a vampire knowing they hadn't prepared you for a newborns life and risk the lives of many innocent humans. Or, they could perform prelingeration. If they knew how… or had an experienced instructor, like me… they might just choose to do this. It hurts at the end of it, but it gives you power to prepare for being a newborn, say goodbye to the people you love or those acquaintances you would have liked to talk to more… it also tests your strength, your dedication and your willpower. It's like that show where human celebrities go into the jungle and compete in horrifying tasks to gain food and win the show."

"I'm a celebrity, get me out of here."

"That's it." Jasper smiled. "Prelingeration also gives you a chance to save human memories, and relive them… I shall demonstrate how that works sometime, if you like."

"I thought you didn't like me."

I had trouble digesting all this. I was guaranteed time to make up for mistakes, live memories, say goodbye to my loved ones, and gain control over newborn life. I could have a clean break before I became immortal, and I could have human experiences. "Jasper… can I die? In the year, I mean."

He hesitated once more. "You are dead, Bella."

"I know, but you said in theory. And I still want to know if I actually _die_."

"Not now, and not in the future." he ventured. There was something off about his voice.

"But you can however, die in the past." Now I was really confused. How can you die… in the past?

"Remember? You can live your old memories. You can insert yourself into that time and walk in the body of your former self. I once worked with someone in prelingeration when I was in the CSA… at the time I was a vampire, of course, this was four years after I joined as a human, but the Confederates were now led by vampires anyway…"

"You were in the Confederate States Army?!" I was once more, shocked. I didn't know a lot about Jasper's past, but he was only twenty in human years. How could be have been in the CSA at sixteen?

"I lied about my age after I ran away from home. I was in there until I was twenty , and I was a major. The youngest one in Texas, not even counting my real age. And then a woman, Maria, changed me and took over the army. We made vampires, and fought them for a year until they became of no use to us. Anyway, I was fond of one of the men that Maria began to change, so I prelingerated him. I showed him how to use his mind and new found abilities - yes, you have a lot of talent as a prelingerated vampire, yet you only get to keep one when you go on to complete vampirism - to insert himself in his favourite memories. Needless to say, while we were practicing he landed himself in his near death experience. He wasn't sure what to do... he changed one little step... and it resulted in his death. If you relive a near death experience and change the experience while your doing it... you die."

"Which doesn't make sense! What happens to the time after the near-death experience?" I knew this probably wasn't the time to argue, I should be shocked or upset or dumbfounded. But it was as if I was having a delayed reaction.

"You don't actually die in the past. It's a supernatural thing. It's like a delayed death, if you will."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

We were both silent for a moment, contemplating the situation. Then another, seemingly Important, question came to me. Something I probably should have asked first. "What's different about me? I mean, what changes… physical and stuff, I mean… happen during prelingeration?"

"You won't look different." Jasper snapped out of his trance. "Everything will seem brighter to you, you will bee things more clearly, your voice is more melodic. Your more charming and you don't smell so darn good."

"Thanks." I rolled my eyes. "And what about my… attitude? And those talents?"

"Your attitude is indifferent. The talents you have are all of the ones you've come across in your life - mind reading, future telling, and the changing of emotions, oh and tracking in your case. And also stuff that you could do in your human life, just enhanced."

"And this non-reaction to this I'm having?"

"That's the indifferent attitude."


	3. Chapter 3 Breathe

Chapter Three

Breathe

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Edward's Point Of View

"How's Bella?!" I practically shouted at Jasper as he left the south-facing bedroom Bella had spent the past ten days and shut the door. "Is she up for a visitor? I want to explain to her about prelingeration… oh." My eyes narrowed. "Jasper, I told you I wanted to tell her myself. You probably scared her to death!"

"Whoa. Look, first of all, she is dead. Second of all, she's prelingered - she doesn't have the ability to be scared, she's indifferent to everything. Third of all; that just goes to show how _little_ you actually know about this subject! You would have explained it all… _wrongly_."

"Wrongly?"

"Wrongly." Jasper said solemnly. "For want of a better word. Edward, I don't think you understand the care we have to take with Bella now. We have to train her very carefully, she - as you should know - has no…"

"I know all of that, _Jasper_." I growled. "You've told us this numerous of times in numerous stories over the past half a century."

"Well never have those involved somebody you loved." I could see Jasper getting impatient with me, and the thought he was having about me right now weren't exactly flattering. "Go check on Bella, will you? I have to go talk to someone."

"Whatever, Jasper. Just don't pull what you were thinking about pulling." I smirked as I read a particular thought of his about challenging Emmett to a fight with me.

__

Bella's Point Of View

"… so anyway, I was thinking I should really get started on talking to Charlie and Renee and Jacob and all - hey, what did you tell Charlie while I was out?"

"I made up a story about an extended fieldtrip - don't worry, the headmaster will back it up." Edward assured.

"_What_?" I was totally astounded. "How much did you pay him?"

"Carlisle forked up a nice sum of money and cashed in a few favours." Edward shrugged. "Like everyday."

This made me awfully uncomfortable, although I cared evidently less now that I was prelingered, I still didn't like the idea of the Cullen's spending unnecessary money on me, I would have come up with something better, more legal, and cost free. It can't be right to buy your headmaster off like that. "What did you tell the headmaster by the way?"

"He's a vain, selfish man, Bella." Edward sighed. "His thoughts resemble Rosalie's an awful lot, except she already has all the money in the world so she doesn't waste time thinking about it."

"That's awful to say, Edward."

"It's not really, Rose couldn't acre less. She's in California." he winked at me.

"_Why_?"

"Sparkle treatment." he replied seriously.

"You are not funny." I shook my head, knowing I wouldn't get anywhere. "So, about seeing Charlie and Renee and Jacob…"

"I forbid you to see that Jacob kid." Edward suddenly interjected. "He's a bad influence."

I spluttered. "_What_?! You're the vampire who's been telling me how much he wants to kill me and all the living humans in forks for the past six months, and _Jacob_ the innocent La Push kid is a bad influence?!"

"There is a lot you don't know about Jacob."

"I don't care. He's my friend and I want to see him."

"If you have any sense, if I have anything to do with it, you will not set foot in La Push."

"Why?"

"STOP ASKING QUESTIONS!" Edward shouted. "God, if I'd known doing this would change you into such an irritating, inhumane, soulless being I would have let you become a vampire!"

I stared at him, my mouth open a fraction. He looked so angry, so evil, the most vampiristic I'd ever seen him. I felt my eyes sting and begin to water up, oh god. "Wha… what did I do?"

"You've changed Bella. The way you act, the way you think - you aren't private anymore! I can hear your thoughts! And their beginning to lose meaning. I ruined your life. I bet Jasper didn't tell you this part, well, listen closely _Bella_ - Prelingeration abolishes your soul. It rips away what is you. Your only a shell."

"Well according to you, YOU don't have a soul either, Edward!"

"What's with the crying anyway?" he said aggravated. "I thought you were meant to be indifferent towards this!"

I hastily wiped away a tear drop that had escaped. "I think your just being hypocritical. It was you who made me this way. I don't see what I've been doing wrong. I'm still _me_. I'm still the same as I was ten days ago, I still have the same views, the same relationships, and…" my voice softened and some more tears escaped my eyes "… my heartbeat, however superficial it might be, still races whenever I'm near you. Near to you is still the time I am at my happiest. When we're together, I feel stronger. You heal me. I love you, Edward, and I'm still me."

He looked at me intently for a long moment, until he spoke clearly. "I have also hurt you, stripped you from human life and your soul. I took away anything and everything not superficial that was valuable. I will not stand by to see this happen to you." he paused. "You'll forget. It will be like I never existed."

****

A/N - Well, I couldn't make this happy, could I? I still have to develop a nice friendship with Jacob and stuff, and I cant do that with Edward around so the most practical solution was the do a New Moon on you, however, it wont last 300 odd pages. However at the rate I'm writing this fic that's exactly how long the fic will end up being! Xxxoooxoxo


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